Estate Planning Goals: 7 Ways to Promote Peace and Harmony among Your Children

If you are a parent, chances are fairly high that you have stepped in as a peacekeeper for your
children more than once. Sibling rivalry is common among families and the strong emotions
following the death of a parent can cause discord even in the most loving of families. One of the
last things you can do to promote peace and harmony among your children is to prepare for
potential conflict after you pass away.

7. Include a no contest clause.
A no-contest clause is sometimes referred to as an in terrorem clause. Many states will enforce
a no contest clause, at least to some degree. Of note, Florida is not one of them. Basically, this
type of clause voids any distribution made to a beneficiary who contests the will or trust. On
the upside, this may be an effective deterrent against any challenges to your estate plan. Enforceable or not, the clause also clearly demonstrates your wish against fighting among your
family members after your death. But this type of clause may also prevent a beneficiary from
challenging a mistake in the document as well.

6. Treat all siblings equally in your estate plan.
In the most straightforward of family situations, an equal distribution to each of your children is
also equitable. However, you may choose to divide your estate equally among your children
despite their different economic circumstances as adults. In either case, communication is key.
If you choose this type of distribution plan, it makes sense to communicate your intentions with
your adult children either during your lifetime or through a memorandum of intent included
with your estate plan.

5. Treat all siblings equitably in your estate plan.
Equal shares may not be equitable for your family situation, and you may want to use your
estate to even things out. This is where communication with your adult children is even more
essential. To promote harmony and peace, it may be beneficial to be sure each child
understands the reasons behind your distribution plan through a conversation. If you consider
lifetime gifts to your children as advancements against their inheritance, be sure to explain this.
For example, if one child received private school tuition and the others attended community
college, there may be a big disparity in what each child has already received during your
lifetime. Perhaps one of your children has achieved significant financial success and another
has chosen a career path unlikely to provide beyond basic needs. If you choose to leave
different amounts to your children, talk with them about the decision or, include a
memorandum of intent with your estate plan to help minimize potential disputes after you pass
away.

4. Try to avoid forced sales.
When it comes to assets like the family businesses or the family cabin, you may unintentionally
cause a conflict by assuming all your children have the same interest in the asset. For example,
one child may see the family business as a lifetime employment source, whereas the others see
it as an asset to liquidate. If the child who wants to carry on the family business cannot afford
to buy out the sibling’s interests, a forced sale of the family business and intense family conflict
may be the unfortunate outcome.

3. Review and update your estate plan regularly.
As is said, change is the only constant in life. It is important to review and update your estate
plan regularly. Births, deaths, and divorces can all affect your estate planning goals, as can
changes in tax law or estate law. Make sure you keep on top of changes that may affect how
you want to distribute your assets to your children.

2. Be proactive.
If you anticipate a dispute among your children or want the peace of mind that comes from
doing all you can to prevent a dispute, consider taking preemptive action. One of the most
common ways to attack an estate plan is to challenge mental competence. Undergoing an exam
by a doctor, psychiatrist, or psychologist that is contemporaneous with the signing and
including that report with your documents may be helpful evidence. Videotaping the signing of
a will or trust may also provide valuable evidence against any undue influence or mental
incapacity.

1. Work with an estate planning attorney.
An experienced estate planning attorney provides counsel specific to your family situation.
When you are forthright with your estate planning goals and any concerns about potential
family conflict, your estate planning attorney can create an estate plan that minimizes the risk
of family conflict and promotes peace and harmony.

Contact an Experienced Virginia Estate Planning Attorney
To explore these ideas and more, work with us. We will help you create the ideal estate plan for
your family situation. Contact Wilson Law PLC today at 866-603-5976 to set up a meeting or fill
out our contact form and we will call you to schedule your meeting.